Supposed to be there
by sugarlandfan10
Summary: This is actually going to be A SERIES of ONE-SHOTS about Kate reflecting on major event in her life and how her mother isn't there and reflecting on the moments her mother was there for when she was alive. ( FORMER NAME OF THIS STORY WAS BREAKING POINT)
1. Breaking Point

**THIS IS A SERIES OF ONE-SHOTS AND THIS IS KATE'S PERSPECTIVE RIGHT AFTER HER MOTHER DIES I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!**

**SUMMERY- Kate after her mom dies is starting to give up hope and losing hope until fate steps in and makes her hold on and finds hope again.**

**-KATE'S PERSPECTIVE-**

I didn't know life was going to be like this. I thought my mother was going to be with me for everything. The thought of her never being there never even

crossed my mind. I never thought she was going to miss out on my college graduation , wedding, meeting her grandchildren for the first time. Its not fair why?

why her? why not somebody else why dId she have to dIe I stIll need her. she dIed less than 24 hrs ago I don't know what to wIth my self. RIght now I just

feel numb. I feel lIke I can't functIon. sleep doesn't even seem possIble, I just feel so raw rIght now. God knows where my father Is he was a mess the last

time I seen him which was about 2 hours after the cops left. RIght after they told us my mother was dead . Johanna Beckett was dead. I don't

know what my life means anymore. It just seems all broken.

At that moment I just lost It and grabbed the nearest thing In my room which was a lamp and I threw It across the room ans screamed "WHY".

at that moment I just lost It. I was throwing everything In sight. from my brush to my desk chair then I ran over to my closet and started tearing clothes off the hangers and throwing It across the room until my whole entire closet was empty. Then I made It went to my desk and started throwing pens notebooks and then I picked up a picture frame and I was about to chuck It at the wall but then I caught a glimpse of the picture.

"mom" I whispered. I collapsed to the ground grasping the picture of my mom and I at the county fair when I was 10 years old we were sharing a thing of cotton candy. I just sobbed I thought I had no tears left but I guess I was wrong. I guess I was wrong about a lot of things.

I finally got the courage to get up off the floor onto my shaking legs. I just need to get out of here I just need to do something, I just feel like my word Is ending.

I finally get my self to the front door. The sun Is shining, but all I can see I gray clouds. Today Is not a nice day , I don't know If there will ever be a nice enjoyable day. I thought and I walk down the street. How can I ever enjoy life without her. How? How Is life supposed to gone on with out her. I keep walking , my walking starts turning Into a jog then It turned Into a full out run. Maybe I can runaway from my problems, my grief. I Thought I was going to cry again but I had no tears left. I stop running to catch my breath, right In front of a book store.

I see a line of people and i ask a women what is this line for and she shrieks " Richard Castle"

Richard Castle, where have i heard or seen that name before? Then it came to me, My Mother. Richard Castle is her favorite Author, he is a new young Mystery writer.

I don't know if this is a sign or some divine intervention or just a coincidence. I don't really know but i enter the store anyways. I guess you could say I felt compelled to go in there. I buy his latest Derick Storm book and stand in line. It felt like ages, but finally i was next.

It felt like I couldn't breath. I got up there , he didn't look at me right away but said "what is your name?"

I didn't answer right away and that is when he looked up. He looked right into my eyes, it felt like he could see through my soul.

He gave me a warm smile when i said "Kate" he gave me an even bigger smile. That smile i guess gave me hope. He then handed my book back and i quickly scrambled away. When i exited the book store i finally realized the breath I didn't realize I was holding. I opened the book and read the inscription and i couldn't believe it, my eyes just bugged out.

It read

_Kate, _

_You might think I'm crazy but your eyes said it all, we all have our low times come but a _

_horizon is coming. You will be happy again , hope is still alive just hold on to small _

_hope and you will be alright again._

_Have hope,_

_Richard Castle_

That is the moment i realized it just might be okay again, Richard Castle gave me a small piece of hope. That is why after that day i kept going, when ever I felt like I was being eaten alive by grief i would pick up that book and read it from cover to cover. His words kept me alive.

Richard Castles words saved me, Kate Beckett. Richard Castle saved me,Kate Beckett.

**THE END**

**THIS WAS A ONE SHOT! I HOPED YOU LIKED IT. THIS WAS A REALLY SAD STORY AND I HATE WRITING SAD STORIES BUT AT LEAST IT HAD A HAPPY ENDING! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!**


	2. Shining Star

**.THIS IS A SERIES OF ONE SHOTS : This one is about Kate's Police Academy graduation and her longing to have her mother there and then her reminiscing about all of the graduations and moments her mother was there for.**

KATE'S PERSPECTIVE

Today I was having a bad day. I just wanted my mom . It just seemed like i had nothing left of her.

It seems like I can barely remember her voice. I wish she was here. I usually am able to be

calmed by the words of Richard Castle since I had my Breaking Point but today is different.

Today is a day that she should be here. Today is The day i graduate from the police Academy. People have told me she would have been real proud. I do believe that. I did this for her but i would just love to see her smiling glowing face when They call my name and I am officially recognized as an officer of the law. I could almost picture her smiling face afterwards telling me she was real proud. I just wish that fantasy was true. That fantasy reminds me of a few precious moments with my mother.

KATE'S KINDERGARTEN GRADUATION

I look up at my mother she had a big bright smile as she looks into my eyes and says "you my precious little girl will go far, you are already growing up so fast." she said as she puts on my handmade cap and my bright purple gown .

" Mommy I am only going into the first grade, its not a big deal." I said as I give my mom a big hug and run off and stand by my friends.

After everything was over I ran back by my mom and she said " Katie you are my shining star and I am real proud."

KATE'S ELEMENTARY SCHOOL GRADUATION

My mother is calling me to come down to get ready. But i will not budge, she keeps calling but i just sit there on my bed refusing to get ready. refusing to except i am going into middle school.

My mother comes up and knocks on my door. I scream " I am not going! I can't! I don't want to leave elementary school!"

She comes in and sits on my bed and says "Katie you don't have to be afraid you will always have me no matter what, you'll be safe and happy as long as I am around I promise you."

" Promise?"

"Promise. Katie i will always be there for you because Katie you are my shining star and i will always be real proud of you."

KATE'S MIDDLE SCHOOL GRADUATION

I am getting ready for the ceremony and my Mother comes in and starts fussing over my outfit .

"Mom I am fourteen I don't need your help!"

"I know Katie, I know you don't need my help but I will always be here for you Katie because I love you."

"I know."

" Just don't you forget Katie You are my shining star and I am real proud."

KATE'S HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION

" Mom it just feels so surreal , I don't want to grow up mom, I don't want to lose you."

" honey you'll never lose me, I will always be there because you are still my little girl, you always will be."

"Katie whatever happens remember your are My shining star and I am real proud."

" I know, Mom I know." I said as I grin and hug her.

BACK TO KATE'S POLICE ACADEMY GRADUATION

After thinking back that is when I realize it. She isn't missing today she is here and I know that I am her shining star and that she is real proud of me today.

THIS IS ACTUALLY A SEQUEL TO MY ONE SHOT BREAKING POINT. THIS IS ALSO A ONE SHOT BUT I AM MAYBE PLANNING TO MAKE A WHOLE SERIES OF ONE SHOTS OF KATE THINKING OF HER MOTHER AND WISHING SHE WAS THERE ON BIG EVENTS OF HER LIFE. IF YOU LIKE THAT IDEA AND WANT ME TO DO THAT PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!

LOVE,

SYDNEY


	3. New Job

Dear Mom,

Lately I have been missing you so much and someone told me by writing it might help me get some things off my chest so I thought Maybe I would write to I have received great news. I have made detective mom. Detective, the youngest detective in New york. I know today you would be proud because I am your Shining Star.

Right now I am happy I just wish you were here to share this with me. Maybe one day I could finally solve your murder Mom Just maybe thats what you deserve. Its what I deserve too.

Remember When I got My first Job .

I was nervous but of course I wasn't going to let anyone know that. My first job was at a cafe as a waitress. I was getting my uniform and my hair when you came in. You always knew just what to say to me. you could tell I was nervous.

Remember you said "Katie you'll do fine no need to be nervous."

I said "I'm not nervous mom."

"Of course your not Katie. What I'm saying is It is okay to be nervous."

"It is?"

" Of course , its something new you don't know what to expect. Soon that work will go away and you'll be extrodinary."

"I hope your right."

" of course I am."

" Love you mom."

" I Love you too sweetheart."

So today I know It will be okay, and I know its okay to be nervouse.

And I know I will do extrodinary because of you mom. It is all because of you. You are my everything mom.

THANK YOU FOR READING PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!


	4. The Guy

Dear Mom,

I met this guy. Well the first time I met him I actually arrested him. But he is a good guy. He is a writer, he's funny smart and I just might like him. He has a daughter named Alexis and she is the sweetest thing,smart head on her shoulders. He is really funny he can't fail to make me laugh. He is so handsome too but he drives me crazy. He is annoying and he acts like a child. Now he is working with me , Thats a big problem. I can't date a coworker especially my partner. I don't know what to do mom. I have been working with him for about a year and I think I love hime. I don't know what to do and I don't know if I am ready for it either Mom I wish you were here to help me.

KATE WHEN SHE WAS 16

I am getting ready for my first date but I don't know if I should go and I don't know what to wear. I just don't know what to do.

That's when my mom came in and I said "Mom get out."

" Honey are you okay"

" of course I am. no" I said as I felt defeated and colapsed on the the bed.

" It's okay to be nervous sweetheart."

" I don't know."

" What do you mean katie?" she asked as she sat down and began rubbing my back soothingly.

" I don't know If I am ready."

" you know you shouldn't let anything hold you back but don't do it unless you are ready but when you are ready don't let anything hold you back. okay?"

"Okay"

" Love you Mom"

"Love you too My Katie."

Present Time

I don't know if I am ready but once I am I promise you when I am fully ready I won't hold back I promise you Mom.

Love,

your Katie

**THANK YOU FOR READING ONLY TWO MORE ONESHOTS LEFT IF YOU WANT THE ONE TOMORROW COULD YOU PLEASE SHOOT ME 3 REVIEWS OR MORE THEY JUST MAKE MY DAY AND MAKE ME SO HAPPY. THANKS AGAIN**

**LOVE! **

**-SYDNEY**


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